Any student, staff member, parent, grandparent, OFSTED inspector, lost Rossendalian, adventurous sheep and pigeons, and visitor who has set foot in BRGS will know the ever-expanding tangle of corridors that makes up BRGS. No one really knows where one stops and another begins anymore, perhaps not even the architects themselves.
Why are all these corridors and extensions being constantly built? Again, no one knows. Some speculate that perhaps Mr Porteous has a greater plan - outlined below:
Step 1: Strengthen the headquarters, starting with patching up the roof to protect against attacks, and renovate the science classrooms (for weapons development) and removing the duct tape language classrooms to hide any weaknesses (note - only 2/4 of the language classrooms have been upgraded as the other two are out of sight from any important visitors walking down said corridors so they aren't as high priority)
Step 2: Expand and conquer. Use the need for corridors to advance into Waterfoot and gain more and more territory. Whilst replacing most buildings with classrooms, but sparing the chippy, the Co-op, and Waterfoot Aquatics by merging as they could all be valuable assets.
Step 3: At this point, BRGS may face some (minor) objections from local residents and wider media who have caught onto Mr P's plans. As a plan B to hypnotism, Alan would simply silence with them through passive aggressive emails with such good comebacks and links to homemade iMovie videos about the BRGS values they would be rendered speechless and join our side in embarrassment.
Step 4: All of Lancashire has been taken over, residents either being relocated to Anglesey or brainwashed so that whenever someone else is trying to talk to them all they can respond with is ‘yet’. The Government, tactically having forgotten the North exists, are yet to notice to situation at hand.
Step 5: Yorkshire, having long been competing with the Lancs, are in admiration of this strategy and offer their acres of muddy fields and farmhouses to the cause. Not wanting to offend and retrigger the war between the two counties, Mr P kindly - if not reluctantly - accepts the offer, and uses the land to send Year 8s on daily geography trips as to burden Yorkshire with the little terrors.
Step 6: World domination.
Named after a combination of the two things Mr Porteous holds most dear, and despite being built over 50 years ago is still called the ‘extension’, even though many more extensions have been built since. The Extension Corridor is a notorious bottleneck in the school. It is also full of school photos from down the years, which are cool to look at and see how some teachers have changed...