Mrs Wharmby is a new Chemistry teacher, although she has large shoes to fill following the Bowdenator! She has also relieved Mrs Stevenson-Jones by taking one of her Year 11 chemistry classes (as Stevey-J had been singlehandedly teaching chemistry to almost half of this year group). Mrs Wharmby is also 20B's form tutor.
Mrs Wharmby has a very pessimistic view of what students' work ethic and in her words “you are all guilty until proven innocent - if I haven't seen the homework, you haven't done it.” and the classic “you were probably up until 3 each night gaming or watching Netflix instead of doing these chemistry sheets.”
She also is no fan of hoodies and will tell you to take it off if it isn't a PE hoodie, despite many students trying to convince her that we are allowed to wear any navy or black hoodies.
She had a rigorously academic education, with her chemistry teacher allowing the class to try pure ethanol one lesson.
“Google Meets does the register for me now. It's gotten so snazzy. It tells me what time you've joined and who was here, isn't that well good?”
“Oh. My. Days.”
“We looked at how to make ethanol, but that's most useful for people over the age of 18.”
“When you get to my age - which isn't old - you just love staying in.”
“GOOOOD MORRNINNNGGGG I HAD AN EARLY NIGHT LAST NIGHT AND I AM. FEELING. SPRITELY. THIS MORNINGGGG.”
(To year 11s) “You might not have known that grapes made wine because well, you've only just found out what wine is.”
“It's not like we're just shooting the enzyme.”
“I wish I could choose people who could enter the classroom… I wouldn't let anyone wearing a non-BRGS PE hoodie, and if you all wear random hoodies - even better! I wouldn't need to let any of you in.”
“There is absolutely loads of time to get all this work done.” (repeating this point half way into the lesson so only half the lesson is left to actually do the work)
“I know you won't know what ethanol is, being only 15/16 - but here's how to draw alcohol… new word for ya there.”
“Scar is bad, Simba is good, Mufasa is good - what more is there to read into??”
“Yeah sometimes on the weekend Mrs Stevenson-Jones will go to science seminars and then she'll message me with all these cool facts and I'll just be sat there in my pyjamas eating hash browns going like ‘wow yeah’.”
(Walks into class) “Aw thanks for the Advent thing by the way guys.”
“Who wants to play pin the element on the periodic table?”
(On non uniform day) “I'm seeing a lot of non-BRGS PE hoodies in here…”
“You know me, I'm a stickler for rules.”
“I had a year 7 class the other day who had homework but it was due for second period and this year 7 kid handed it in at 9:55 on Google Classroom, so I gave him a penalty point for going on his phone in another lesson.”
“If you have any complaints write them down and put them in the suggestion box.” gestures towards the bin
“You have to be really quiet in this next bit - so basically just shut up.”
“When I was your age, I'll be honest, I probably wouldn't have done the work, but if you don't do it I'll be emailing your parents.”
“WHAT DON'T WE GET FOR FREE? GCSES!”
“You're 16, you don't know what beer is. Don't tell your parents I taught you that word.”
“Imagine that I'm just attracted to this door…”
“You guys have never seen Hocus Pocus?? It's literally the best Halloween film you all need to go and watch it - it's on Disney+ I think.”
“I am not worried…. (class thinks she is going to say something supportive about GCSEs and covid-19 related issues as it is the first lesson)… about becoming friends with your parents. If you haven't done the work I will be more than happy - and I will - send a message to them.”
“I once got a detention in high school for yawning so loud. I deserved it though cause I totally meant it, it was a dead boring subject.”
“More importantly, this is important.”
“The periodic table is basically a table.”
"Not brackets - parenthesis, that's what we say in Burnley."
"And before you know it you've made water just like that when you didn't mean to."
"Just think of mash. Like the monster mash."
"What happens if you touch the smaller numbers? Does anybody know?" (nobody puts up their hands) "You die."
"I just spent six months watching Disney+."
"Congratulations - you have made it to half term break! I am proud of how you have handled such a challenging half term, whilst maintaining high standards of work. It is important that you take time to relax with your family, ready for what will no doubt be a another hectic half term. As you are in Year 11 (and you don't get GCSEs for free!) have a think about whether you could complete some work over the half term e.g. to catch up or revise a weaker topic. If so, try a scaled down version of your normal timetable (choose your favourite week one or week two) so that you can still have a rest."
"Hello lovely CONSCIENTIOUS people. Should you wish to finish that alkenes worksheet (people at home I forgot to say only the second side!!), then the answers are attached (again, second side).
This is completely optional for anyone who wishes to be conscientious and get a good grade! Email me if you have any questions from today.
Calculators tomorrow for calculation fun!!!"
(The night before the chem mock) “And finally, remember you do not get GCSEs for free so don’t even think about staying up late on your phone/computer/Netflix! Sensible bedtime please!!”