Mrs Szafranski is an English teacher, previously known as Miss Edge, and is definitely one of the more chill English department members. A lot of lessons end up talking on a tangent but no one minds as long as it's not English related.
Mrs Szafranski joined the English department in late 2016, mainly taking over teaching duties from Mr Overend. This meant she was handed his GCSE class. She realised that most of them had no idea what to do for GCSE and so she had to go into overdrive to teach them. It is fair to say that 2012 Intake owe their GCSE English grades to her.
Although her opinion on the actual holiday and festive season are unclear. Mrs Szafranski (or at least in her Ms Edge era) has a fascination with this video which she showed to us at least 14 times during the one Christmas she taught us. She also enjoys the remix and will play it to the class whilst giggling at her desk. It is quite odd.
"Morning gang, lets see if anybody else rocks up."
"It's not a vibe."
"I'm not drinking whiskey at 11 in the morning."
"Yeah, my brother broke in there once, you can tell why he's unemployed and a disappointment to the rest of the family in comparison to me."
Mrs S: It means dank as in damp and cold, not dank the way you know it--
Student: DANK MEMES
Mrs S: Describe your senses, but when describing taste, don't go "I walked through the monastery and licked the cold floor".
Student: It tastes like chicken!
Mrs S: It'll taste like monk feet.
Student: Miss, how do you know what monk feet taste like?
Mrs S: How don't you know?
"You guys wouldn't understand it all with your small puny human brains."
"Now I want you all to make a promise to me so hands on your heart and repeat after me. "I promise... to our wonderful English teacher Mrs Szafranski... that in my story, there will be no zombies... there will be no arms that get cut off with rivers of blood... and there will be no knife fights.."
"I'm not naming my daughter Kieth!"
"And taste doesn't mean you just go up and lick the mud, and it tastes like mud. It means metaphorically!"
"Here's an example of how to use a semi-colon in a list, Mrs Szafranski can't do a lot of things, this includes: skating on ice; doing simple maths; making up examples."
"Do you guys like my new shoes? They keep rubbing though so I'll just have to travel around the classroom like this." (goes across classroom on spinny chair)
Mrs S: What should you do in a speech?
Student: Be able to read.
Mrs S: Yes, lets hope I taught you well enough to do that.
"This is why I became a teacher." (whacks herself in the face with paper)
"He didn't do his test, what a slippery character."
"You guys do some work whilst I go over to my desk and die."
Mrs S: Go back to your places everyone.
Student: But missss I'm talking to my chair.