Mr Reeves is a deputy head, head of lower years, member of the senior leadership team, head of pastoral care, MBE, grade II listed, etc etc etc... Reeves is also a maths teacher, but only teaches A-Level students. He can also do a number of flawless animal impressions, including a horse (along with 'clip clop clip clop'), a crocodile, and a dog (although this is down to debate, it can also be argued he was acting as a rabid fox). It was also decided that he would be more likely to go around in a zorb ball than Mr Porteous. Ignore the electric chair and thumbscrews in his office - they are rarely used.
He comes along on almost every school trip, apart from Ypres where he can finally take the reins of the school for three days as this is the only trip the Porteii go on, other than that, Alan defends his headship (relatively) determinedly, the only other times Reeves has the power over the school is whenever Mr P is running late on his paper round of delivering various mock papers and sixth form application letters. Saying that, Mr Reeves seems to near impossibly do almost every role under the sun to hold up the school, whereas Alan becomes more and more hellbent on building the (insert number here)th extension, locking himself in his office for days at a time to design the next step towards total conquest of Waterfoot.
Reevsie is often found patrolling the classrooms at lunchtime, and does not appreciate people throwing things around. If you are caught doing such an act he will just point at you then symbol with his hands to go over to him. Unfortunately for him, the lack of speaking means that one can often pretend they misunderstood him, especially if he is signalling through a window, or just wave back at him then continue along on your merry way.
It is rumoured that Mr Reeves could do trigonometry and quadratic graphs from the age of one, and indeed before he could walk. He was a self-acclaimed ‘party animal’ during his sixth form days though this is yet to be confirmed by secondary sources…
He once seemed to think he was Spiderman and then consequently broke his wrist. (A passage from the old BRGSWiki states 'In what was possibly his first ever assembly at BRGS he opened with the words "I had a strange dream last night. I was Spiderman. He then explained what this was all about, and said, "I always knew I was Spiderman", and "that is my gift and that is my curse, who am I? I'm Spiderman!")
At some point during his mysterious past he has lived in New Zealand.
Mr Reeves makes many assemblies. His devotion for them was shown during the coronavirus lockdown when he recorded an assembly each week and then sent it to all the BRGS pupils. In the past, many of his assemblies have revolved around acronyms that are used for about a week then discarded. Such acronyms include:
Mr Reeves is also the proud creator and owner of the Behaviour For Learning Policy which is an elaborate ploy to take up a number of pages in our planners and the value of a penalty point changes each year - just to keep staff and students on their toes.
Reevsie has shown that he has an affinity for Paw Patrol. He once did a whole assembly on Paw Patrol, and later that year during the school Quiz Night he based a whole round on Paw Patrol and didn't understand why you got 0/10 unless you had a little kid you could bribe with various snacks at your own loss.
When walking up to school, Mr Reeves seems to have a different greeting for every single group of students every single day. It is unknown how he comes up with so many. Some examples include:
"GREETINGS! GOOD MORROW!!"
(On a rainy day, Mr Reeves looking particularly unwaterproof) "Morning. Notice how I didn't say 'good'?"
"Good morning, chapatitas!"
“You can’t drink black bean juice. That’s not nice.”
“No, I am not the Dancing Queen - this is dad-dancing.”
(walks into classroom, with no prompt) “My name backwards is seveer luap.” (leaves classroom)
(walks into classroom singing) “Did you like my high note?”
“Poppin'? I did that in my youth.”
“Driving is quite invigorating.”
“I wouldn't call oregano a seasoning… more of a herbal addition really.”
“I'm just going to meander myself away to an oxbow lake.”
“I'm not resilient enough for tissues.”
“I prefer Shakira to Shakespeare.”
(Reeves just wanders into a form time)
Mrs Sawle: I know what I'm doing!
Reeves: (Surprised) Well, I'm not doubting you… (About to leave) By the way, that's a keyboard.
“Choo choo…" (wanders away and vanishes into the woods at Year 9 Camp at midnight)
“Is that ME with a GLASS OF WINE??”
“No one can stoop as low as you, Mr Jackson. You're not even good at polishing my shoes."
(To a bunch of 'face to face lesson' students kicking around a traffic cone) "Oi stop that! Stop kicking that cone around! That traffic cone has feelings. Stop being cone-ist."
"Alright, lets ermm... Lift your left leg! Lift your right leg! Umm... Do a ballerina! And now on the other leg. What else can we do? Ah yes, erm, everybody do some skiing, and now a ski jump."
"Everybody do the crocodile dance!" (the class of year 10s this was directed towards looked very bewildered and bemused)
"My life, my situation is just not the same as anybody else's. Nobody knows what I'm going through. No one's struggling like I am. No one's in the same situation as me."
"I was in school on my own today... it was all so... echoey."
“I was a youth worker, not a drug dealer!"
"I didn't just wake up this morning and just think 'LETS JUST TAKE SOME COCAINE.'"
(Queen comes on and people sing along) 'Caught in a landslide'
Reeves: NO NO
'Can't escape from reality'
Reeves: NO YOU CAN ESCAPE
Reeves: (leaves for a couple of seconds, then comes back just in time) I'M JUST A POOR BOY
"Forks! Anybody need forks? Anyyybodyyy need forks??" (at the ineffable Anglesey)
“The new wiki is just like the old one but with a different font.”
(Walking into summer in school lockdown sessions with camera) “AND HERE WE SEE SOME WILD YEAR 10s WHO MIGRATE BETWEEN WINTER AND SUMMER.”
Mr R: Can someone tell me what the last sentence was of that video we watched a week ago? Year 7 & 8 did awfully at this...
Student: Our values define us
Mr R: YOU STAR!!!! YOU ABSOLUTE STAR!!!
(The introduction to a code breaking activity on enrichment week) "What are we going to be doing this afternoon? Well, the ceiling is going to fall down, we'll jump out of windows, there'll be people with guns we have to fight, a giant monster will come out of the floor, there'll be a bomb with a ticking timer and we need to crack the code before it goes off. Possibly."
"You gotta make those ... snaps fingers ... snap decisions!"