Miss Hartley is a chemistry teacher who likes to tell a lot of
atrocious jokes. She is often seen sporting a mustard cardigan and her 'duck leg' tights. Miss Hartley is also obsessed with learning objectives and spends the first half of the lesson making you copy down what you would do in the lesson but then usually run out of time doing because she spent so long making you write down the learning objectives.
"A neutron walks into a bar and the bartender says 'for you, no charge'. I hope you're all laughing at your screens."
"Why can you never trust an atom? They make up everything. If you need to pause the video to laugh that's fine."
“Some naughty person has been making peg oxide.”
“White powder? Suspicious.”
“I grow weed on my potatoes.”
"Hurrah! Harry Potter and the Recessive Allele!"
"Your title for today is just 'Potato'."
"OOOH I'M GONNA NEED SOME ALOE VERA FOR THAT BURN."
"Measure the height of the muscles... Oh I mean bubbles."
"OoOooOoh there's a spoon in my pencil case!!"
"Go text your mum and ask her about your new washing machine!"
"Boiled sweets are lumps of yummy sugar nuggets."
- (Some kid walks into class early) Errmm Miss, what are you doing?"
Miss Hartley: *quickly puts away phone* Not taking pictures of my teeth that's for sure!
"Hahaha you're selfish and don't like cod?? Don't you mean shellfish??"
"Don't put a caterpillar in a circuit!"
"You guys can be my guinea pigs! But don't worry, I'm not going to stick you in a cage or feed you or anything like that."
"My mind must just really like cups."
"I don't ever think 'mmm its quiet in here, let me just light the fire'."
"It appears I've overestimated your ability to pass a gluestick around."
"Hello my name is Miss Hartley and I had porridge for breakfast. What did you have for breakfast?"
(To her new class of year 7s) "Each lesson I want you to write 'I will solemnly swear to listen to Miss Hartley' on you whiteboard and at the end of the lesson rub it out and say 'science managed!"
"So I walked around school and collected lots of different soil."
"Its period 5 on a Friday, and we're all tired and want to go home, but, if you want to do GCSE questions who am I to stop you?"