| What we have to swap | What we want |
| 4 basketball players | Another 6 |
| 7 football players | Supporters |
| 5 hockey players | A lot more enthusiasm |
| 4 badminton players | Bad opposition |
| Mr Skeels | Anything |
| Form prefects | Action Man tank & size 5 roller skates |
| Anything | 30 sick notes |
| 12 peashooters, 28 water pistols | 30 copies of ‘How to pass your O Levels with Flying Colours’ |
| 30 uniforms in good condition | 30 maths answer books |